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HyperCaz's Time Warp

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Stephen Sommers' Movies

In 2001, I suddenly became interested in movies - all due to this guy.

The Mummy

Evelyn
: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.
Rick: And what is that?
Evelyn: I... am a librarian.

Beni: Hey, O'Connell! Looks to me like I've got all the horses.
Rick: Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river.

Beni: It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path.

Rick: I've been to Hamunaptra.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick: Every damn day.

[after a mysterious wind blows up for the umpteenth time]
Rick: That happens a lot around here.

Winston: So, what does your little problem have to do with his Majesty's Royal Air Corps?
Rick: Not a damn thing.
Winston: Is it dangerous?
Rick: Well, you probably won't live through it.
Winston: By Jove, do you really think so?
Jonathan: Well, everyone else we've bumped into has died. Why should you be any different?

Evelyn: You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance.
Beni: They do?

Evelyn: I bet you're thinking, what's a place like me doing in a girl like this?
Rick: Something like that, yeah.

Rick: You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn't you Beni?
Beni: What friend? You are my only friend.

Evelyn: I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl.
Rick: You dream about dead guys?

Winston: What's the plan?
Rick: Rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, save the world.

Rick: Well if it ain't my little buddy Beni. I think I'll kill you.
Beni: Think of my children.
Rick: You don't have any children
Beni: Someday I might.

Rick: That's called "stealing," you know.
Evelyn: According to you and my brother it's called "borrowing."

Rick: You're gonna get yours, Beni. You hear me? You're gonna get yours.
Beni: Oh, like I've never heard that before.

Rick: Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
Evelyn: The only thing that scares me, Mr. O'Connell, are your manners.

Evelyn: Patience is a virtue.
Rick: Not right now it isn't.

Beni: Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hospitality... and for your eyes... and for your tongue... but I'm afraid more is needed.

Rick: Is he supposed to look like that?
Evelyn: No, I've never seen a mummy like that, he's still... still...
Rick, Jonathan: ...juicy.

Rick: Oh, yeah. This just keeps gettin' better and better.

Rick: You're sure you oughta play around with that thing?
Evelyn: It's just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book.

Evelyn: [about O'Connell] Personally, I think he's filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel. I don't like him one bit.
Rick: Anyone I know?

Beni: I need a new job.

Beni: I loved the sand wall trick, it was beautiful... you bastard.

Jonathan: Can you see...
Rick: Yeah.
Jonathan: Can you believe...
Rick: Yeah.
Jonathan: Can we just...
Rick: No. 
 
 
The Mummy Returns

Ardeth Bay
: [to Alex] By putting on the bracelet, you have started a chain reaction that could bring about the next apocalypse.
Alex: [gasp]
Rick: [to Ardeth] Hey, you, lighten up.
[to Alex]
Rick: You, big trouble.
[to Jonathan]
Rick: You, get in the car. 

Alex: Lady, I don't behave for my parents, what makes you think I'm going to do it for you?
Meela: Because your parents don't put poisonous snakes in your bed while you're sleeping. 

Izzy: [to Rick] Every time I hook up with you, I get shot. Last time I got shot in the ass. I'm in mourning for my ass! 

Alex: Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: No.
Alex: Are we...
[Lock-Nah stabs his knife right between Alex's fingers]
Alex: Wow, that's amazing. Perfect aim.
Lock-Nah: What are you talking about? I missed. 

Jonathan: I told you. I told you.
Meela: And your point is...?
Jonathan: I told you so you wouldn't kill me.
Meela: When did we make that arrangement? 

Rick: Honey, what are you doing? These guys don't use doors. 

[after crashing through London and fighting off the Mummy soldiers]
Rick: You okay?
Ardeth Bay: This was my first bus ride. 

Evelyn: No harm ever came from opening a chest
Rick: Yeah, no harm ever came from reading a book either. Remember how that one went? 

Rick: [O'Connell sees mummified soldiers destroying his car] No, no, not my car! Oh, I hate mummies. 

[Rick comes in and sees Jonathan being interrogated by thugs]
Rick: Uh, hello. Jonathan, I thought I said no more wild parties.
Jonathan: Well, when you're popular... 

Rick: All right - you're here, the bad guys are here, Evie's been kidnapped - let me guess...
Ardeth Bay: Yes. Once again they removed the creature from his grave.
Jonathan: I don't mean to point fingers, but isn't it your job to make sure that doesn't happen? 

Izzy: O'Connell, if you give me that gold stick there, you can shave my head, wax my legs, and use me for a surfboard.
Rick: Didn't we do that in Tripoli? 

Evelyn: Alexander the Great sent 1,000 soldiers to look for it...
Rick: Hooray for him.
Evelyn: Caesar sought for it...
Rick: Look what happened to his career.
Evelyn: And Napoleon...
Rick: Yeah, well, we're smarter than him, and taller. 
Evelyn: Exactly, and that's why we're going to find it.
Rick: Because we're taller? 
 
 
Van Helsing

Carl
: A work of certifiable genius.
Van Helsing: If you don't say so yourself.
Carl: Well, I did say so myself. 

Van Helsing: Bless me, Father, for I have...
Cardinal Jinette: Sinned! Yes, I know. You're very good at that. You shattered the Rose Window!
Van Helsing: Well, not to split hairs, sir, but it was Mr. Hyde who did the shattering... 

Van Helsing: You're a genius!
Carl: A genius with access to unstable chemicals! 

Carl: [after saving the woman from the vampire children] They've all died.
Barmaid: Oh, thank you! You saved me.
[kisses him on the cheek]
Barmaid: How can I repay you?
[Carl leans in and whispers something in her ear]
Barmaid: But you can't do that! You are a monk!
Carl: Actually, I'm a friar. 

Van Helsing: There's something down here, it's carnivorous. Whatever it is it appears to be... human. I'd say it's a size 17, about 360 pounds, 8 and a half to 9 feet tall and he has a bad gimp in his right leg and, ah, 3 copper teeth.
Anna Valerious: How do you know he has copper teeth?
Van Helsing: 'Cause he's standing right behind you. 

Carl: You've never gone after vampires before, have you?
Van Helsing: Vampires, gargoyles, warlocks, they're all the same - best when cooked well. 

Mr. Hyde: So, you're the great Van Helsing.
Van Helsing: And you're a deranged psychopath.
Mr. Hyde: We all have our little problems. 

Carl: Why don't you go ahead and grab it? If there's one thing I've learned, it's never to stick your hand into a viscous material. 

Carl: Dracula can't bring them to life until the sun sets. We still have time.
Anna Valerious: "Time"? The sun sets in two hours, and we've been searching for his lair for over 400 years!
Carl: I wasn't around for those 400 years, was I? 

Anna Valerious: What are these things?
Van Helsing: I think they're Dracula's children.
Anna Valerious: His children?
Van Helsing: A man, with three gorgeous women, for four hundred years? 

Van Helsing: That's why you're coming with me.
Carl: The hell be damned that I am.
Van Helsing: You cursed. Not very well, mind you, but you're a monk. You shouldn't curse at all.
Carl: Actually, I'm still just a friar. I can curse all I want, dammit.

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Nothing says "I digress" better than that.
- The Immunity Thread

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