Evelyn: Look, I... I may not
be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.
And what is that?
Evelyn: I... am a librarian.
Beni: Hey, O'Connell! Looks to
me like I've got all the horses.
Rick: Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river.
Beni: It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path.
I've been to Hamunaptra.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick: Every damn day.
a mysterious wind blows up for the umpteenth time]
Rick: That happens a lot around here.
So, what does your little problem have to do with his Majesty's Royal Air Corps?
Rick: Not a damn thing.
Winston: Is it dangerous?
Rick: Well, you probably won't live through it.
By Jove, do you really think so?
Jonathan: Well, everyone else we've bumped into has died. Why should
you be any different?
Evelyn: You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance.
Beni: They do?
Evelyn: I bet you're thinking, what's a place like me doing in
a girl like this?
Rick: Something like that, yeah.
Rick: You came back from the
desert with a new friend, didn't you Beni?
Beni: What friend? You are my only friend.
I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl.
Rick: You dream about dead guys?
What's the plan?
Rick: Rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, save the world.
Well if it ain't my little buddy Beni. I think I'll kill you.
Beni: Think of my children.
You don't have any children
Beni: Someday I might.
Rick: That's called "stealing,"
Evelyn: According to you and my brother it's called "borrowing."
You're gonna get yours, Beni. You hear me? You're gonna get yours.
Beni: Oh, like I've never heard that
Rick: Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
Evelyn: The only thing that
scares me, Mr. O'Connell, are your manners.
Evelyn: Patience is a virtue.
Not right now it isn't.
Beni: Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hospitality... and for your eyes...
and for your tongue... but I'm afraid more is needed.
Rick: Is he supposed to look like that?
No, I've never seen a mummy like that, he's still... still...
Rick, Jonathan: ...juicy.
Oh, yeah. This just keeps gettin' better and better.
Rick: You're sure you oughta play around with
Evelyn: It's just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book.
[about O'Connell] Personally, I think he's filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel. I don't like him one bit.
Beni: I need a new job.
Beni: I loved the sand wall trick, it was
beautiful... you bastard.
Jonathan: Can you see...
Can you believe...
Jonathan: Can we just...
The Mummy Returns
[to Alex] By putting on the bracelet, you have started a chain reaction that could bring about the next
Rick: [to Ardeth]
Hey, you, lighten up.
Rick: You, big trouble.
Rick: You, get in the car.
Alex: Lady, I don't behave for
my parents, what makes you think I'm going to do it for you?
Meela: Because your parents don't put poisonous
snakes in your bed while you're sleeping.
Izzy: [to Rick] Every time I hook
up with you, I get shot. Last time I got shot in the ass. I'm in mourning for my ass!
Are we there yet?
Alex: Are we...
his knife right between Alex's fingers]
Alex: Wow, that's amazing. Perfect aim.
What are you talking about? I missed.
Jonathan: I told you. I told you.
And your point is...?
Jonathan: I told you so you wouldn't kill me.
did we make that arrangement?
Rick: Honey, what are you doing? These guys don't use doors.
[after crashing through London and fighting off the Mummy soldiers]
Rick: You okay?
Bay: This was my first bus ride.
Evelyn: No harm ever came from opening a chest
Yeah, no harm ever came from reading a book either. Remember how that one went?
sees mummified soldiers destroying his car] No, no, not my car! Oh, I hate mummies.
comes in and sees Jonathan being interrogated by thugs]
Rick: Uh, hello. Jonathan, I thought I said
no more wild parties.
Jonathan: Well, when you're popular...
right - you're here, the bad guys are here, Evie's been kidnapped - let me guess...
Ardeth Bay: Yes.
Once again they removed the creature from his grave.
Jonathan: I don't mean to point fingers, but isn't
it your job to make sure that doesn't happen?
Izzy: O'Connell, if you give me that gold stick
there, you can shave my head, wax my legs, and use me for a surfboard.
Rick: Didn't we do that in Tripoli?
Alexander the Great sent 1,000 soldiers to look for it...
Rick: Hooray for him.
Caesar sought for it...
Rick: Look what happened to his career.
Evelyn: And Napoleon...
Rick: Yeah, well, we're smarter than him, and taller.
Evelyn: Exactly, and
that's why we're going to find it.
Rick: Because we're taller?
Carl: A work of certifiable
Van Helsing: If you don't say so yourself.
Carl: Well, I did say so myself.
Helsing: Bless me, Father, for I have...
Cardinal Jinette: Sinned! Yes, I know. You're very
good at that. You shattered the Rose Window!
Van Helsing: Well, not to split hairs, sir, but it was Mr.
Hyde who did the shattering...
Van Helsing: You're a genius!
Carl: A genius
with access to unstable chemicals!
Carl: [after saving the woman from the vampire
children] They've all died.
Barmaid: Oh, thank you! You saved me.
on the cheek]
Barmaid: How can I repay you?
[Carl leans in and whispers something
in her ear]
Barmaid: But you can't do that! You are a monk!
I'm a friar.
Van Helsing: There's something down here, it's carnivorous. Whatever it is it appears
to be... human. I'd say it's a size 17, about 360 pounds, 8 and a half to 9 feet tall and he has a bad gimp in his right leg
and, ah, 3 copper teeth.
Anna Valerious: How do you know he has copper teeth?
'Cause he's standing right behind you.
Carl: You've never gone after vampires before, have you?
Van Helsing: Vampires, gargoyles, warlocks, they're all the same - best when cooked well.
Hyde: So, you're the great Van Helsing.
Van Helsing: And you're a deranged psychopath.
Hyde: We all have our little problems.
Carl: Why don't you go ahead and grab it? If
there's one thing I've learned, it's never to stick your hand into a viscous material.
Dracula can't bring them to life until the sun sets. We still have time.
Anna Valerious: "Time"? The
sun sets in two hours, and we've been searching for his lair for over 400 years!
Carl: I wasn't around
for those 400 years, was I?
Anna Valerious: What are these things?
I think they're Dracula's children.
Anna Valerious: His children?
Van Helsing: A
man, with three gorgeous women, for four hundred years?
Van Helsing: That's why you're coming
Carl: The hell be damned that I am.
Van Helsing: You cursed. Not very well,
mind you, but you're a monk. You shouldn't curse at all.
Carl: Actually, I'm still just a friar. I can
curse all I want, dammit.