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HyperCaz's Time Warp

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Batman (1989)
The Joker: Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?

Knox: You know what they say? They say he can't be killed. They say he drinks blood. They say...
Eckhardt: And I say... you're full of shit, Knox. Oh, uh, you can quote me on that.

Vicki Vale: You're insane!
Joker: I thought I was a Pisces!

The Joker: Where does he get those wonderful toys?

Commissioner Jim Gordon: He gave us a signal.

The Joker: Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?

The Joker: Never rub another man's rhubarb.

The Joker: Gotham City. Always brings a smile to my face.

The Joker: Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.

Batman: You killed my parents.
The Joker: What? What? What are you talking about?
Batman: I made you, you made me first.
The Joker: Give me a break. I was a kid when I killed your parents. When I say "I made you" you gotta say "you made me." How childish can you get?

The Joker: And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!" Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm giving away free money. And where is the Batman? HE'S AT HOME WASHING HIS TIGHTS!

Joker: As though we were made for each other... Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I'll rip their lungs out.

The Joker: It can be truly said, that I have a bat in my belfry.

Bruce Wayne: You want to get nuts? Come on! Lets get nuts!

The Joker: Hey you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you? Huh?
[Batman punches him]

The Joker: Bob, I'm of a mind to make some mookie.

Bruce Wayne: It's Japanese.
Knox: How do you know that?
Bruce Wayne: Because I bought it in Japan.

Vicki Vale: What do you want?
The Joker: Oh, Little song, little dance. Batman's head on a lance.
Batman Returns
Catwoman: Meow.

The Penguin: But when it comes down to it, who is holding the umbrella?

Catwoman: I am Catwoman. Hear me roar.

The Penguin: I believe the word you are looking for is "Aaahh"!
Catwoman: Life's a bitch. Now so am I.

The Penguin: You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask.

Batman: Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
Catwoman: A kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.

Guard 2: Don't hurt us, lady. Our take-home is less than $300!
Catwoman: You're overpaid.

Ice Princess: The tree lights up, I press the button... No wait, I press the button and...

Bruce Wayne: Security? Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? I'm sitting there working; I turn around, there she is. "Oh hi, Vick - come on in."

The Penguin: What you hide, I discover. What you put in your toilet, I place on my mantle. Get the picture?
Batman Forever

The Riddler: Riddle me this, riddle me that, who's afraid of the big, black bat?

Batman: You trying to get under my cape, doctor?

Batman: It's the car, right? Chicks love the car.

Dr. Chase Meridian: You like strong women. I've done my homework. Or do I need skin-tight vinyl and a whip?

Alfred Pennyworth: I'm afraid Master Dick has, uhm, gone traveling.
Bruce Wayne: He ran away?
Alfred Pennyworth: Actually, he took the car.
Bruce Wayne: He boosted the Jag?
Alfred Pennyworth: No, sir. Not the Jaguar. The other car.
Bruce Wayne: The Bentley?
Alfred Pennyworth: No, sir! The other car.

The Riddler: You should have let me in on this. We could have planned it, prepared it, pre-sold the movie rights!

Robin: Holey rusted metal, Batman!
Batman: Huh?
Robin: The ground, it's all metal. It's full of holes. You know, holey.
Batman: Oh.

Alfred Pennyworth: You really are quite bright, despite what people say.

[hit boss on head with coffee canister]
Edward Nygma: Caffeine will KILL YA!

Robin: I want a car, chicks dig the car.
Batman: This is why Superman works alone.
Batman Begins

Alfred Pennyworth: You look quite fashionable. Apart from the mud.

Batman: Can you drive stick?

Alfred Pennyworth: But Master Wayne, guests will be arriving!
Bruce Wayne: Keep them happy until I arrive. Tell them that joke you know.

Female Restaurant Guest: I think the Batman deserves a medal.
Earle: And a straight-jacket to pin it on.

Alfred Pennyworth: What was the point of all those push-ups if you can't even lift a bloody log?



Nothing says "I digress" better than that.
- The Immunity Thread

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