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HyperCaz's Time Warp

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A show I grew up with...holds many memories for me.

Al: I don't think so, Tim.

[Wilson offers Tim an ancient wooden African throne]
Tim: It's nice, but if I'm gonna be sitting on a throne, it's gonna be porcelain, my friend.

Kyle: I can't take it anymore! So much noise I can't hear the voices in my head.

Tim: And the peasants rejoice.

Tim: Some tool-men say "Why? ", this tool-man says "Why not? ".
Jill: This tool-man's wife says "Why me? ".

Randy: Um, Beth, another cooger snookie? Er, booger cookie?

Tim: And remember, if your drill says Binford... GET OUTTA THE HOUSE. TOOLS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO TALK.

Randy: You're a tyrannical fascist.
Tim: Did he just call me a dinosaur?

Randy: It's not junk, it's Heavy Metal.
Tim: It sounds like they banging their heads on their guitars while they're getting their teeth drilled.
Randy: Hey, cool - you saw the video.

Tim: [Has just awakened Wilson by throwing a ball at his door] Wilson, have you ever had a really annoying neighbor?
Wilson: [after a pause] Tim is this a trick question?

Heidi: Binford Tool is proud to present Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor and Al "The Most Sensitive Guy in the World" Borland.

Wilson: Tim, are you growing a beard?
Tim: What d'you think?
Wilson: Well, I'm not sure. I could never understand why a man would wanna hide his face.

Tim:[after unsuccessfully breaking a block of wood with his head] B-Binford Tools. Messages. We have 'em.
Al: We'll be right back.

Al: I saw Mark in his costume. I always wanted to be the letter N.
Tim: That's impossible, Al. The song specifically says No Al.
[singing to the tune of Noel]
Tim: No Al, No Al, No Al, No Al.

Tim: Maybe there's nothing THEY can do. But there's something I can do. I'm the guy who delivered a baby after being crowned Car Guy of the Year in the same night. I'm the guy that built a lawn mower than can do 12 seconds in a 1/4 mile. I'm the guy that put a barbecue grill in orbit, so don't you tell me there's nothing we can do. I'm the Tool Man, I can fix ANYTHING.
Jill: Alright, zip up your fly and let's go.

Tim:[Playing with Buzz Lightyear doll] I am Buzz Lightyear. No, I am Buzz Lightyear. No, I am Buzz Lightyear. No, I come in peace.
Doll: I come in peace.
Tim: No, I come in peace.

Tim: My sons are interested in baseball cards as an investment, and they don't wanna get ripped off.
'Ink' Ingram: Sorry, all we do here is rip people off. Store policy.
Tim: I didn't mean to insult you, Mister...?
'Ink' Ingram: Rip-offer. Con-man T. Rip-offer.
Tim: From the famous Jack the Rip-offer family?

Al: I take my work seriously and all you do is crack jokes.
Tim: Crack jokes? Well the way you bend over like that...
Al: See? Now that's what I'm talking about.

Randy: What kind of sick person hotwires his wife's car?
Tim: I think you boys are old enough to know the truth: your father is a sick, sick man.

Tim: Al, what's your favorite part of gardening?
Al: Getting down and dirty with my hoe!

Al: Last night, something very disturbing happened: Ilene... had a dream.
Tim: No! Not a dream. While she was sleeping? I don't know, scientists may want to study her.



Nothing says "I digress" better than that.
- The Immunity Thread

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