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HyperCaz's Time Warp

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Star Wars

Created by the O Flannelled One.

Episode I: The Phantom Menace
 
Obi-Wan: If they find us, they will crush us, grind us into TINY pieces and BLAST us into oblivion!
 
Obi-Wan: Why do I get the feeling that we've picked up another pathetic life form? 
 
Beed: I don't care what universe you're from, that's got to hurt.
 
Qui-Gon Jinn: The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
 
Yoda: Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.
 
C-3PO: I beg your pardon, but what do you mean, "naked?"
 
Darth Sidious: Wipe them out, all of them.
 
Qui-Gon Jinn: There's always a bigger fish.
 
Episode II: Attack of the Clones
 
Elan Sleazebaggano: You wanna buy some death sticks?
Obi-Wan: You don't want to sell me death sticks.
Elan Sleazebaggano: I don't want to sell you death sticks.
Obi-Wan: You want to go home and rethink your life.
Elan Sleazebaggano: I want to go home and rethink my life.
 
Obi-Wan: Why do I get the feeling you'll be the death of me?
 
Yoda: Mmm. Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. How embarrassing.
 
Mace Windu: This party's over.
 
Obi-Wan: Blast. This is why I hate flying.
 
Nute Gunray: She can't do that; shoot her or something.
 
Anakin: When I got to them we got into aggressive negotiations.
Padme: Aggressive negotiations? What's that?
Anakin: Ah, well, it's negotiations with a lightsaber.
 
C-3PO: DIE, Jedi dogs. Oh... what did I say?
 
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
 
[after Obi-wan uses a gun and drops it]
Obi-Wan: So uncivilized.
 
Obi-Wan: Chancellor Palpatine, Sith Lords are our specialty.
 
Anakin Skywalker: What was that all about?
Obi-Wan: Well, R2 has been...
Anakin Skywalker: No loose wire jokes.
Obi-Wan: Did I say anything?
Anakin Skywalker: He's trying!
Obi-Wan: I didn't say anything!
 
[Obi-Wan regains consciousness while hanging precariously inside an elevator shaft underneath Anakin]
Anakin Skywalker: Easy... We're in a bit of a situation.
Obi-Wan: Did I miss something?
 
Darth Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
 
Anakin Skywalker: [shouts] I hate you!
Obi-Wan: You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you.
 
Episode IV: A New Hope
 
Imperial Officer: Where are you taking this... thing?
 
Obi-Wan: That's no moon. It's a space station.
 
Luke: [on first seeing the Millenium Falcon] What a piece of junk!
 
Darth Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing.
 
C-3PO: We're doomed.
 
Obi-Wan: Who's the more foolish: The fool, or the fool who follows him?
 
Princess Leia: Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
Princess Leia: Will someone get this big walking carpet out of my way?
 
C-3PO: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you.
Han Solo: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee.
C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.
Han Solo: That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.
Chewbacca: Grrf.
C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookiee win.
 
[X-wings are approaching Death Star]
Wedge Antilles (Red 2): Look at the size of that thing.
 
[shoots comm]
Han Solo: [mutters] Boring conversation anyway.
 
[Han, Luke, Leia and Chewie land in the trash compactor]
Han Solo: What an incredible smell you've discovered!
 
Han Solo: Jabba, you're a wonderful human being.
 
Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
 
Princess Leia: Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder.
Han Solo: Never tell me the odds.
 
Yoda: You must unlearn what you have learned.
 
Princess Leia: I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee.
 
Princess Leia: I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain.
[Chewbacca laughs]
Han Solo: Laugh it up, fuzzball.
 
Yoda:  Do... or do not. There is no try.
 
Darth Vader: If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough. He told me you killed him.
Darth Vader: No. I am your father.
 
Princess Leia: Would it help if I got out and pushed?
 
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
 
GONK droid: Splendid! We have been without an interpreter since our master got angry with our last protocol droid and disintegrated him.
C-3PO: Disintegrated?
 
Jabba the Hutt: This bounty hunter is my kind of scum: fearless and inventive.
Imperial Officer: You rebel scum.
 
The Emperor: So be it... Jedi.

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- The Immunity Thread

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