Ford Prefect: How are you feeling?
Arthur Dent: Like a military academy. Bits of me keep passing
Arthur Dent: You know, it's at times like this, when I'm stuck in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse,
about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.
Prefect: Why? What did she tell you?
Arthur Dent: I don't know! I didn't listen!
Newscaster: And we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere. And to everyone
else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.
The Book: The Argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist" says God, "For proof
denies faith and without faith I am nothing." "BUT," says Man, "The Babel Fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It proves you
exist, so therefore you don't. QED." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that." And promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
"Ooh, that was easy." says Man and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets killed on the next zebra crossing.
Arthur Dent: I'm sorry, did you just say you needed my brain?
Mouse: Yes, to complete the program.
Arthur Dent: Well, you can't have it, I'm using it!
Arthur Dent: Cheeky mouse...
Arthur: [Arthur and Trillian are talking to each other at the party they meet at] I'm
glad to meet you here, pretty much everyone else here are just idiots.
Trillian: [over music]
Arthur: I said,
[the record player is bumped, the music stops]
THESE PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS.
[everyone stares at him]
The Book: Men were real men. Women were real women. And small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were
real small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
Arthur Dent: This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
[about the Vogon Constructor ships]
The Book: They hung in the air exactly the same way that
Ford Prefect: Preparing for hyperspace. It's rather unpleasantly like being drunk.
What's so wrong about being drunk?
Ford Prefect: Ask a glass of water.
The Book: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy also talks about love. It says, "Avoid if at all possible."
Arthur: I think I'm a sofa...
I know how you feel...
Gag Halfrunt: Zaphod's just zis guy, ya know?
Marvin: I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.
Marvin: [repeated line] Life. Don't talk to me about life.
Trillian: Probability factor of one to one. We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. [pauses
a beat] Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.